Friday, December 14, 2012

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

when "it" finally comes to an end

finally i'm almost done getting 100% completion Let's start another "it"

Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Peculiar ; your race, your decathlon

banyak kejadian yang tidak diharapkan ternyata tidak hanya menjadi gangguan bagi tujuan kita, namun menjadi cara bagaimana Tuhan membentuk hati dan mempersiapkan kita. dengan bantuan Tuhan, kita mampu melewati waktu-waktu yang sulit dan memperoleh sudut pandang baru atas pengharapan dan keberanian untuk menghadapi realita.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Out of Tribune

Abaikan orang yang mengatakan sudah terlalu terlambat untuk memulai lagi. Abaikan mereka yang mengatakan anda tidak akan pernah menjadi apapun. Tulikan telinga dari orang yang merendahkan anda. Jangan batasi kemungkinan pada hal yang terlihat saja. Jangan mendengar apa yang hanya dapat didengar. Jangan mengendalikan hanya dengan yang logis. Masih ada banyak hal dalam hidup daripada yang terlihat oleh mata.

For The Dummies

Jangan memberikan terlalu banyak perhatian untuk ketenaran, kuasa, ataupun uang. Suatu hari anda akan bertemu dengan orang yang tidak mempedulikan hal-hal ini, dan kemudian anda akan tahu betapa miskinnya diri anda.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Author Unknown

Everybody Knows..
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe..
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Secret Garden - The Promise

dont be afraid to take an unfamiliar path, sometimes they're the ones that take you to the best places - @ihatequotes

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Mind roams more freely in empty rooms, days can spill into evening, then night without interruption

once you realise you're not obligated to persuade others about your existence, it becomes a lot easier to exist - Sloane Crosley -

It wasn't something I decided upon, it happened naturally. Gradually, the emptiness of the afternoons began to fill with ideas, and the most pleasurable part of those days was when I sat down with my thoughts and formed stories, giving myself over to my imagination. I wouldn't mind if things were different, but they're not and, truly, there's nothing quite like it, we're just social animals.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Draw what I think and see, Cityscape ..

Here are some pictures, and reviews that inspire me in one way or another to make sketches, i googled the cityscape and found these pictures. Each of these pictures inspire me to get out, and explore more. Just feel free to look here ..

just wait and see what the result will be out ..

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Things that were right for me several years ago may no longer have any validity

Yet such an assumption quickly turns into a continuing limitation. It can be very negative and disheartening. Yet when i dig deeper, and look beyond the circumstances of the moment, the picture changes. When it seems that all hope is lost, it is not lost at all. What’s really happening is that i'm being compelled to move to a higher level. Yes, it may seem strange to be thankful for your difficulties. Yet it certainly beats the alternative, which is to let those difficulties and get the best.

"Because a life free of effort is not really what i want. What i really want is for every effort to bring a meaningful sense of fulfillment"

Life can be terribly unfair and difficult and demanding. And yet, against such a background, it is nearly impossible to imagine anything more beautiful and fulfilling than life itself.

Things that were right for me several years ago may no longer have any validity

Saturday, July 7, 2012

The Famous Musician Orpheus.

.. sad but, i hope, beautiful story in verse ..
"Orpheus the musician married Eurydice the shepherdess. When she was killed by a snake, he traveled down to the underworld and was granted one chance to fetch her back to life"
Here is the story...

Narrated, the greatest of all musicians was named Orpheus. He sang a wide variety of songs. Sometimes he sang high-pitched songs about the mystical creation of the universe. Other times he played low notes on his lyre as he sang of the battles of Zeus ad the Olympians gods who clashed against the Titans. Orpheus even had songs about people who were changed into flowers or birds.
But whatever he sang, the rich clear words and the silvery notes from his harp were so enchanting that they always had a magical effect on everything around him. His songs could charm even rocks and rivers as well as humans and animals. Once when Orpheus was playing his splendid music in the forest, the oak trees pulled up their roots. They followed him down the mountainside and planted themselves by the seashore where Orpheus ended his song.

When the great adventurer Jason was about to set out on his search for the Golden fleece, Orpheus was invited to go along. Orpheus proved to be of great help on the long journey. When the tempers of the heroes of the ship flared up, Orpheus would sing a peaceful song and calm those who had been arguing. Sometimes when the rowing was long and tedious, Orpheus would begin to stroke his lyre. Then time would seem to float by and the rowers would not feel tired and they listened to the soft rippling music.

The time came when Jason and the Argonauts had to sail past the dangerous isle of the Sirens. The Sirens were beautiful creature who were part human, part bird. Their songs were so wonderful that any person who heard them would become enchanted. All the sailors who heard the Sirens' songs would hurl themselves overboard and swim to the island of the Sirens'. Lured by these strange maidens the men would die upon the jagged rocks around the isle. But as the argonauts came close to the rocky island of the Sirens, Orpheus began a splendid song of his own. Jason and this crew did not listen to the Sirens and were able to sail past the island unharmed.

After the Argonauts returned to Greece, Orpheus fell in love with a beautiful woman names Eurydice. They were married and a great feast was held in their honor. On the day of their wedding, Eurydice strolled through a nearby field and talked joyfully with her friends. But as she walked through the bright green meadow, she stumbled upon a poisonous snake. The huge serpent bit her and she died.

Orpheus was heartbroken over this cruel fate. He had been married and widowed on the same day. After many weeks of mourning, he decided that he would go to Hades,the land of the dead. There he would plead for his wife.
He came to the gates that lead to the underworld, playing on his harp. No living mortals were allowed to cross into the shadowy regions of the underworld. But Orpheus' sweet dad music moved the ferry and of the dead and he gave Orpheus a ride across the dark murky river Styx. Thus Orpheus entered the purple-darkened realm of the dead. Formless ghosts and spirits gathered around him. But Orpheus was unfrightened and continued to play his slow music about his lost wife. The Spirits began to weep and the huge vultures of the underworld listened to his song.The three-headed dog that guarded the Underworld stopped growling and laid down and whimpered at the dad tine. Orpheus passed by the coal-black stallions that pulled the chariot of Pluto. The horses' ears stood straight up when they heard the enchanting song. Finally the musician came before Pluto, King of the Underworld called Hades. All the jewels and precious metals that lie in the ground rightfully belonged to Pluto's domain. Thus he and his wife, Persephone, sat on the most magnificent thrones imaginable.Beside Pluto lay a magic helmet that would make anyone who wore it invisible. Here, before the King and Queen of Hades, Orpheus sang his sad, sweet song and pleaded to have his bride back. Even the rulers of the underworld were moved by h is music. Eurydice was called forth and she came still limping from the wound where the serpent had bitten her. The gods of Hades agreed that Orpheus could have his wife back, but only on the condition that he did not look back until he had reached the land of the living.

Orpheus began walking up the long steep path that led to the sunlit world of men. The winding pathway was gloomy and silent. Behind his in the darkness he could hear the soft pad of Eurydice's bare feet upon the rocky steps. At last Orpheus saw sunlight coming through the opening to the overworld. he forgot himself and turned to look at his wife. There stood Eurydice, as lovely as a Spring morning with her dark wavy hair and her snowy cheeks. But as he looked Orpheus saw his lovely wife begin to fade. He desperately tried to embrace her but she only had time to whisper "Farewell" before she vanished.

Orpheus once again tried to cross the River Styx in hopes of regaining his wife. But the ferryman would not listen to Orpheus' enchanting music this time and he soul not cross the river. He sadly returned to the land of Thrace. On a hill in Thrace, Orpheus remained the rest of his life, singing songs that enchanted the beast and the trees of the forest.

It is said that when Orpheus finally met his death, the birds wept on the hillside. The trees shed their leaves and the nearby streams were swollen with their own tears. Orpheus' spirit went down to the Underworld and he soon found Eurydice. 

Although it is a shadowy existence the two walk together for eternity without fear of another separation.

The Blue Lotus, Nymphaea Caerulea

The lotus flower has it's roots in mud below water, grows up inside water, and has leaves and flower just above water surface. If it grows further up, the stem will not be able to hold weight and gets cut. It can't survive inside water either. Still, the flower or leaves never gets wet or spoiled by the surrounding water.
People from many cultures throughout history have valued Lotus flowers for a variety of reasons.

To the Chinese, the lotus flower is thought of as being like a gentleperson, who keeps themselves clean, alive and healthy in a dirty (dense) environment. Essentially the lotus flower represents creative power and purity amid adverse surroundings. It is also a symbol of the seventh month, summer. In China, there are many poems about the lotus flower, often describing how they come out of the dirty mud under the water and yet retain their pureness, freshness and beauty.
To the people of India the lotus flower signifies purity and peace, a representation of the Manifestation of God. Rising pure and unsullied above stagnant, muddy waters, the Indians have seen this flower as worthy of emulation, teaching them to be detached from material preoccupations.

The pond having the lotus flower is like samsara (the worldly matters)

So... we are like lotus. Lotus teaches us the art of living the life without getting touched by the troubles of samsara. It conveys message of detachment, but at the same time we can't escape from here just like lotus can't grow further above water.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Semar Badranaya The Earth Patron, the famous actor in wayang

So there is semar, a famous actor in wayang java exibihition. This actor only in java presentation, that is perform wise of java value. Usually wayang stories perform mahabarata or rammayana setting, but in the middle story round, semar and the child are appearing at “goro-goro” round. Semar is accompanied by three the childs, that is; gareng, petruk, bagong. There is  four slaves called punakawan. Can be watchinged, almost in wayang purwa exibihition, will appear  knight be followed by semar, gareng, petruk, bagong. Story anything told, five this figures occupies important position. Their story is preced to begin from a hermitage saptaarga or another hermitage. After get assorted science and advices from the Begawan ( Brahmin = spiritual teacher ), they have mission/duty to apply advices that got, with do “tapa ngrame”. (help without purpose).

Narrated, trip the knight and to four the slaves enters forest. This describe that the knight begins to enter life field never known, dark, full coppice, many beast, wicked creature ready intercept it, even if careless can threaten the soul. But in the end knight, semar, gareng, petruk, bagong success pick victory with beat giant companion, so that success out forest safely. Outside forest, hindrance stills to intercept, danger always threaten. Blessing semar and the children, the knight can remove all hindrance and success finish the alive task safely.

Why does part semar and the children very determine success a life? that is semar be exertion description god that come along to proceed in human life. More clarify part semar, so figure semar equiped with three another figures. Four punakawan be symbolized from cipta, rasa, karsa and karya. Semar has characteristic juts that is white tuft. White tuft at head as simbol from idea, clear brainchild. gareng has characteristic that jut that is kero knotty (cross-eyed), defeat in hand and lame in the foot. Three physical defect symbolizes taste, not taste in food meaning but in the heart. eye defeat ( cross eye), vigilance taste, hand defeat accuracy taste and lame foot carefulness taste. Petruk is symbolized from wish, willing,or  karsa in java language that described in second his arms. If moved, second hand like second one who cooperate well. Hand in front of indicate, choose what he want, hind hand has held tight what chosen. While work is symbolized bagong with two hands fifth wide opened the finger, mean always ready to strive.
Create (at the brain) or cipta at java language, taste (in the heart) or rasa at java language, willing  or karsa at java language and work be one unitary inseparable. create, taste, willing and work stays in one area that named individual or man innermost, symbolized knight figure.

Ideal human description is human individual description intact, where create, taste, wiiling (karsa) and work can occupied the function each harmonicly, to then walk along aim noble aim. Thereby be clear that between knight and punakawan has connection significant. Knight figure success in the alive and achieve ideal aim if is provided a clear idea (create)s, honest heart (taste), wish, round determination (karsa) and want to strive (work). Knight symbolization and four the slaves, similar to 'ngelmu sedulur papat limo pancer. One of the java custom belief kind, javanese philosophy.
Sedulur papat is punakawan, lima pancer is knight. Position pancer present intermediate, flanked by two old brothers (kakang mbarep, kakang kawah) and two young brothers (adi ari-ari and adi wuragil).
ngelmu sedulur papat limo pancer will born from resuscitation concept beginning human beginning will be created and human life final purpose (the paraning dumadi).Beginning human is created at first moment approach birth. Before the baby (baby is pancer) borns from mother uterus, appear first time is worry, feel the mother. Worry that is called kakang mbarep or oldest brother at english. Then at the time of approach that baby borns, out clear liquid or amniotic fluid ( banyu in java language ), to protect the baby, so that fluent parturition and soft baby skin not chafed or wounded. Amniotic fluid that is called kakang kawah ( creater brother). After baby will born be followed with out it placenta and blood. placenta is called adi ari-ari or plasenta young brother in english and blood is called adi wuragil or youngest brother.

Ngelmu sedulur papat limo pancer give pressure that, human is gived to this world not alone. There four brothers that accompany. Pancer is suksma/soul and sedulur papat is body. The combine of suksma/soul and body gives a life.
Connection between pancer and sedulur papat in life, described with a coachman restrains a carriage, pulled by four horses, rose colored, black, yellow and white. carriage coachman symbolizes freedom to decide and make a certain. red horse symbolizes energy, spirit, black horse symbolizes biological need, yellow horse symbolizes spritual need and white horse symbolizes clearness, purity. As coachman, of course not easy restrain four horses mutual different character and the need. If the coachman can to restrain and cooperate with to four the horses well and balance, so carriage will go to final purpose. java wisdom is Sangkan paraning dumadi.


Wolf : Mythology and Folklore

Wolves figure prominently in the mythology of nearly every Native American tribe. Wolf is considered a medicine being associated with courage, strength, loyalty, and success at hunting

"The images conveyed in wolf folktales vary: in many they are depicted as ruthless and fierce; in others they have an image of nobility and loyalty. In Norse Mythology, the Fenrir was a symbol of chaos who eventually swallows Odin whole. However, the wolf was also associated with warriors, and Odin had two wolves as loyal companions"
 Like bears, wolves are considered closely related to humans by many North American tribes, and the origin stories of some Northwest Coast tribes, such as the Quileute and the Kwakiutl, tell of their first ancestors being transformed from wolves into men. In Shoshone mythology, Wolf plays the role of the noble Creator god, while in Anishinabe mythology a wolf character is the brother and true best friend of the culture hero. Among the Pueblo tribes, wolves are considered one of the six directional guardians, associated with the east and the color white. The Zunis carve stone wolf fetishes for protection, ascribing to them both healing and hunting powers. 
-Celtic Wolf-

Wolves are also one of the most common clan animals in Native American cultures. Tribes with Wolf Clans include the Creek (whose Wolf Clan is named Yahalgi or Yvhvlke), the Cherokee (whose Wolf Clan name is Aniwahya or Aniwaya,) the Chippewa (whose Wolf Clan and its totem are called Ma'iingan,) Algonquian tribes like the Lenape, Shawnee and Menominee, the Huron and Iroquois tribes, Plains tribes like the Caddo and Osage, Southern tribes like the Chickasaw, the Pueblo tribes of New Mexico, and Northwest Coast tribes like the Tlingit, Tsimshian, and Kwakiutl. Wolf was an important clan crest on the Northwest Coast and can often be found carved on totem poles. The wolf is also the special tribal symbol of several tribes and bands, such as the Munsee Delaware, the Mohegans, and the Skidi Pawnee. Some eastern tribes, like the Lenape and Shawnee, have a Wolf Dance among their tribal dance traditions.

The Catalyst

I wasn't sure what was a miss, but the routine I had fallen into was not satisfying the inner voice in me that insisted there was something else out for me. there're lots of little changes add up to a monumental shift. I’m a catalyst for my change and I like being that way
One thing that it has done is to force me to reevaluate my life and make some major changes myself.
I think that I have done a pretty good job accepting it, healing, and moving on.
I just need you to understand that my life is my own and you have no right to judge my decisions
One of the things that I’ve decided to do is to uproot from my previous life as a whole

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Lady of Shalott

The re-telling of the story of “The Lady of Shalott,” an Arthurian legend most famously captured in a Tennyson poem. The legend is about a young maiden, trapped by a magic spell in a high tower. She sees the knight Sir Lancelot passing by and she tries to take a boat to Camelot. She drowns on the way and dies.
I love the verse, “The sharp knife/ Of a short life.” This captures two striking aspects of death at a young age and fragility of life. Finally, one quite moving part of this song is “Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket/ Save them for a time when you’re really gonna need them, oh.” This makes more sense in the video where, at the end, she survives. Clearly, there’s no reason to cry if she’s safe and sound. But I think the line works even if she does die. It is awful to lose a loved one at a young age, but there are much worse tragedies that can affect a person. A slow, painful disease that causes a great deal of suffering for a long time tends to be hard to make peace with than a quick, painless death.

I suppose I would be remiss if I failed to address the spectre of suicide that is lurking in this song. I don’t think the speaker is necessarily suicidal. I think the song works just as well for a young girl who dies of a disease or in an accident. However, if you take the line, “Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin’ ” I have to admit, that sounds an awful lot like suicidal teen crying out for help. There is a notion in that statement that one can express an idea powerfully by the act of dying. But it is tempered by other lines in the song such as “Life ain’t always what you thought it would be” and “I’ve had just enough time.” The overall impression I get is that this young woman is satisfied with the brief spark of life she had.

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh Oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

Slow Life

Monday, June 18, 2012

I hate being locked in a cage, neither stone walls nor iron bars in my whole life

I hate being locked in a cage, neither stone walls nor iron bars in my whole life
I hate being locked in a cage, neither stone walls nor iron bars in my whole life
I hate being locked in a cage, neither stone walls nor iron bars in my whole life

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Greensleeve : The Love Letters of Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn

The obsession of King Henry VIII with Anne Boleyn started in 1526.

Greensleeve - Guitar Version

King Henry VIII wrote the following  in an excerpt from a love letter to Anne Boleyn which was written in 1528:
"...having been for more than a year now struck by the dart of love, and being uncertain either of failure or of finding a place in your heart and affection..."
Greensleeve - Piano Version

This King Henry VIII quotation clearly illustrates the unfamiliar position of apparent unrequited love that King Henry had found himself in during his early courtship of Anne Boleyn. King Henry VIII was an extremely accomplished Musician and Composer. Music and the ability to play musical instruments was essential during the Tudor era and the education of King Henry VIII included great attention to the development of musical skills.

First Verse
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.

Second Verse
So must I meditate alone
Upon your insincerity.

Third Verse
If you intend thus to disdain,
It does the more enrapture me,
And even so, I still remain
A lover in captivity.

Fourth Verse
I have been ready at your hand,
To grant whatever you would crave.

Fifth Verse
Thou couldn't desire no earthly thing,
But still thou hadn't it readily.

 Nineth Verse
My men were clothed all in green,
And they did ever wait on thee;
All this was gallant to be seen,
And yet thou would not love me.

Last Verse
Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Greek mythological prophet, Cassandra was a woman cursed with the gift of foretelling the future.

In ancient Greek stories, Cassandra was the daughter of Priam, the King of Troy. The god Apollo gave her the power to see what would happen in the future, but he also made sure that no one would believe her, so when she warned her father that the Greeks could use the Trojan Horse to take control of Troy, no one believed her. Struck by her beauty, Apollo had provided her with the gift of prophecy, but when Cassandra refused Apollo's romantic advances, he placed a curse ensuring that nobody would believe her warnings. Cassandra was then left with the knowledge of future events, but could neither alter these events nor convince others of the validity of her predictions.

Mythology is ripe with tragically sad stories. In fact, very few myths actually finish with a happy ending. However, I consider the story of Cassandra to be one of the very saddest tales of all time. Cassandra was princess of the legendary city of Troy. As was very common in Greek mythology, the god Apollo lusted after the beautiful young mortal woman and intended to make her his own. To convince her to give into his advances, he promised to bestow upon her the gift of prophecy.

While Cassandra was obviously flattered that an Olympian god sought her favors, she wasn't at all convinced that she wanted to take him as lover. Still, unable to resist the gift he offered, she eventually relented.
Apollo took Cassandra under his wing and taught her how to use her prophecies. Once her mentorship was finished, however, Cassandra refused to give her body to Apollo as promised.
Furious at being rejected by a mere mortal Apollo decided to punish her. While he couldn't take back the gift he'd already given, he could alter it. After having his way with Cassandra, the god's anger was still not satiated. So he leveled a terrible curse upon her head. While Cassandra would still be able to foresee the future, the curse ensured that no one would believe her. Worse than that, they would believe that she was purposely telling lies.
True to his word, Cassandra was able to foresee the future for herself and those around her. But every attempt she made to warn people in advance of impending doom was ignored or, worse yet, labeled as an out right lie.
Ashamed of his daughter's supposed madness, the king pronounced her insane and jailed her by locking her inside her own chambers. Denying his daughter altogether, he told many people that she had died. Others, who already knew of her predicament simply didn't care since they, too, thought she was either crazy or a pathological liar.
One of Cassandra's most important prophecies involved the fall of Troy at the hands of the Greeks and the infamous Trojan Horse. Escaping from her prison, she begged her people to believe her predictions but, once again, no one would listen.
Cassandra managed to escape from Troy and elude the raping and pillaging of the Greek's as they tore apart her home. She hid within the temple of the goddess Athena, who promised to provide shelter to her former priestess. But Ajax found the girl there, clinging helplessly to the statue of Athena and he could not resist forcing himself upon the young beauty.
The Cassandra metaphor (variously labelled the Cassandra 'syndrome', 'complex', 'phenomenon', 'predicament', 'dilemma', or 'curse'), is a term applied in situations in which valid warnings or concerns are dismissed or disbelieved.
The goddess, infuriated that such an act would happen in her sacred temple, involving someone under her protection took revenge upon Ajax. She vowed that he would never again return home. Her wrath was fulfilled when Ajax died after his ship crashed against the rocks of Gyraen.
Twice raped, labeled a liar and insane, Cassandra finally relented and gave in to her fate. She allowed Agamemnon to claim her as his concubine, considering herself a rightful spoil of the Trojan War. Although he didn't marry her, she bore him two children, twin boys named Teledamus and Pelops.
Upon return to his home shores, Agamemnon's wife Clytamnestra greeted the couple with full heroic honors. She even embraced Cassandra, promising the young girl that she would make certain her servitude would not be too difficult. However, Cassandra had foreseen her fate as well as that of Agamemnon and she chose to fight it no longer.

The heroine stood her ground outside the castle, waiting until Clytamnestra finished killing her husband and returned to murder Cassandra with the very same ax. Although she knew her children would also die, it is believed that Athena took pity on the hapless mother and blurred that particular part of her prophecy so she didn't have to witness the death of her sons.
It seems that even history wasn't very kind to the tragic heroine. Most writers condemned her as a madwoman who purposely spouted lies in order to gain attention. Many artists weren't much better, often picturing her with wild, unkept hair and a lunatic expression on her face; barely covered by dress as though she had no morals or sense of propriety.
A few, however, have taken pity on the Cassandra, portraying her more as the lost child that she was. For them, she is often shown on her knees with a helpless look that was meant to garner the pity she so richly deserved. However, she was rarely portrayed, however, as the intelligent heroine that she truly was; a victim of circumstance because she refused to play by the rules established by a group of sanctimonious and undeserving gods.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

a bit of jazz

Monday, March 5, 2012

Life Script : An Antidepressant

It was not really alarming at first, since the change was subtle, but I did notice that my surroundings took on a different tone at certain times: the shadows of nightfall seemed more somber, my mornings were less buoyant, walks in the woods became less zestful, and there was a moment during my working hours in the late afternoon when a kind of panic and anxiety overtook me... 
quoted from Darkness Visible Book, William Styron.


She wishes she could go somewhere where no one could find her. But then she still comes out to live, talk when she has too, smile when she has too. She feels like an empty shell just floating around, like a skinned animal with deep wounds. She's willing to throw away everything. It's quite scary. Why do he wants to come in hell, she shouldn't care about it. That's what the devil inside is asking to do. Even she thought it was absurd, like those painful words she said, would it have been more painful?. She's in a bad for some reason, since while ago, she gets so angry.


Friday, March 2, 2012

A Treasure Locked Up

Here i'm back in my own space of familiar surroundings and i have achieved a satisfied place in it, which fills me with a feeling of relief but also an underlying melancholy. I'm settling back into home life routine but i'm thankful there are still a few vacation days left. I'll let pointless busy work replace the idleness that lets my mind brood and hope it works out better than before. But sorry, i even said I'm feeling melancholy, that's weird. It's almost 3 am, I don't know what to write, random words, It's not easy to explain why I write, as I don’t know why. I wrote in one night without stopping,  I don’t want to stop when I’m feeling good. I let my fingers work. I try to write as fast as I can and move from one phrase to the next without thinking too much. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m really curious, I keep writing.


A Cinnamon Latte

I can see myself easily becoming addicted to coffee, I'll likely need lots of booster to stay awake all the time I'll need to. I love writing and reading late into night, because no one is awake to bug me, all time is mine, and cinnamon latte; the sweet, steamed milk foam and creamy flavor will always be my best friend. When I talk about coffee,  I'm sure there are tons of variations out there such as espresso, latte, americano, cappuccino, mocca, macchiato, etc
For me, the taste of coffee and cream is often the expression of a need for emotional comfort. Perhaps that is why I choose coffee as my example, coffee, the metaphor is similar to beverage that it provides both sensory pleasure during consumption. I learned from trying to push the metaphor further than I thought it could go. For instance, I'm physically addicted to coffee, I've made the choice to have it daily knowing that if I ever can't get it, or have some compelling reason to stop drinking it, I am in for a week of miserable headaches and joint pain. I can mitigate that a bit by gradually tapering off my consumption, but I can't avoid it all together. 
My body would mourn the loss, just as my mind would mourn the loss of a person I loved, the brownish cinnamon latte.


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Freedom is the opportunity to make decisions

The more decisions that you are forced to make alone, the more you are aware of your freedom to choose.


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